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We were denied a Grand Theft Auto movie starring Eminem, proof that Earth is a cold, dead place.

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Image: Universal Pictures

In what should be considered definitive proof that we live in an objectively worst timeline ever, Rockstar actually rejected a pitch for a Grand Theft Auto movie starring Marshall Mathers, Eminem himself. Worse, in 2001, during the height of Shady’s powers, Slim was fresh off the success of both the record-breaking Marshall Mathers LP and the Academy Award-winning film 8 Mile .

This news comes to us through an interview between the bbc and game industry veteran Kirk Ewing, a personal friend of the Houser brothers, Sam and Dan, founders of Rockstar. According to Ewing, a Hollywood agent approached the brothers with a $5 million offer for the rights to a film directed by Tony Scott of Top Gun fame and starring Eminem. Sam Houser reportedly responded to the offer with a simple “not interested.”

“They realized that the media franchise they had was bigger than any movie that was running at the time,” Ewing elaborated. Ewing himself designed State of Emergency, which was published by Rockstar Games and released on the PS2. Around the time it was offered, GTA 3 was blowing itself up in a big way. These days, the Grand Theft Auto franchise is a sales juggernaut, with the sixth mainline entry in the series currently in development, which suffered an unfortunate and high-profile leak a short time ago.

Can you think of a single man to star in a Grand Theft Auto movie in the early 2000s than Eminem? Do you think polite society would literally be thrown into disarray if such a thing had happened? Lose yourself in the moment, and never let it go in the comments section below.

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